What do you think of when you hear the word “bully?”

Most of us think of a big, bossy boy in our class who teases everyone and may even hit or kick to get what he wants. The truth is, bullies come in all different shapes and sizes, ages and colors.

Did you know even your “friends” can be bullies?

It’s true. Friends who make fun of you over and over again, hit, slap, or push you, or call you mean names are acting like bullies. Even though they are friends, it is never okay for them to make you feel humiliated, physically hurt or scared.

Many of us don’t get along with our friends all the time, even though we know, deep down in the pit of us, that we care about them very much. This is confusing—why can’t we get along with people we care about or like alot? Actually, sometimes it is hardest to get along with people we are closest to. It is a strange part of life.

It is natural for you and your friends to sometimes disagree, but it is not natural for them to make you feel stupid, worthless, physically in danger, or scared. If your best friend does any of the following, they are bullying you:
• Hit, punch, kick, pinch or push you
• Call you names, make fun of you, or tell lies about you behind your back
• Consistently leave you out of games or family activities
• Ignore you when you want to talk or see them in the hallway at school

Sometimes it is hard to recognize bullying going on in your friendships because you are so close and often tease each other playfully, make funny jokes, or play around—hugging, wrestling, or racing. The best way to know if you are being bullied is to identify one of the behaviors listed above, but also, and this is really important, to think about how it made you feel inside. Did you feel sad, hurt, humiliated, scared or controlled? If it was just a game, you probably wouldn’t have a bad feeling in your tummy or a sad heart. If you do, you are being bullied, not just playing around.

So what do you do if you feel like your best friend is being a bully?

You find help from a trusted adult who knows you and understands how you feel. This adult—a teacher, pastor, friend’s parent—may be able to help you think of good ways to feel safe, express how much you don’t like being bullied to your friend, or get help from smart people, like school counselors or psychologists, to help you decide how to make the friendship better, or if necessary, stop spending so much time with that friend.

It is really important that you look for help when you feel bullied, not just for you, but for your others friends at school and your family. Some studies show that kids who are bullied by others often become bullies themselves. Other studies show that bullying can negatively impact the way you feel about yourself for a long time, or leave you feeling depressed or unhappy about going to school.

If you don’t want to ask for help right way, you can handle the situation by walking away, and telling your friend that while he is treating you like this, you are not willing to spend time with him.

What other ways can you think of to deal with bullying?? Think about it……

Remember – go for help if you don’t feel successful in handling it yourself. Bullies can be very persistent and it often takes a grown up to stop them from hurting.