One of the key concepts in social and emotional learning taught to children by Project Exsel educators is the use of “I Messages”. What are “I messages”?
“I messages” are an effective way of stating your feelings and avoiding putting your children on the defensive. An “I message” is a statement that tells the listener what you see, think or feel, or want in an objective manner that does not assign blame or put your child down. An “I’ message tells children what effect their behavior has on you.

YOU messages often have the opposite effect. They can take the form of threats, name-calling, blaming, accusing or lecturing. “You” messages tell children what is wrong with them.