Definition:

Source: The Collins English Dictionary © 2000 HarperCollins Publishers:

Discipline ['disiplin] noun

• Training or conditions imposed for the improvement of physical powers, self-control, etc.
• Systematic training in obedience to regulations and authority
• The state of improved behavior, etc., resulting from such training or conditions
• Punishment or chastisement
• A system of rules for behavior, methods of practice, etc.
• A branch of learning or instruction

Expert: Ron Taffel

Author of: Parenting by Heart – learn more about this book at Amazon.com

" Many parents find that it's tough to be firm with their children. They can't set rules. They threaten but don't follow through with consequences. 'No television for a week,' a mom may tell her child in the afternoon, only to make an exception that very night. But the fact is, if we relinquish our parental authority, we are doing a disservice to our kids. When children are young, they crave limits. They seek real rules, not rubbery ones. The key is to strike a balance between offering our children support and empathy -- and simultaneously providing structure through clear expectations of how we would like them to behave. It is the constant, natural back and forth between love and limits that is the mark of a great parent.”
Excerpted from: the May 2001 issue of Parents Magazine

Expert: Lawrence E. Shapiro

Author of: How to Raise a Child with a High EQ – learn more about this book at Amazon.com

"Very few parents have trouble learning the principles of affirmative caring, but affirmative discipline is another matter. By affirmative discipline, I simply mean that you need to have thought-out, predictable, and age-appropriate ways to respond to your children’s misbehaviors. In fact, it is impossible to develop a parenting style that enhances your children’s EQ without also having a consistent and effective way to discipline them. Some simple principals and strategies: 1. Make clear rules and limits and stick to them. 2. Give warnings or cues when your child is beginning to misbehave. 3. Shape positive behavior by reinforcing good behavior with praise or affection and ignoring behavior that is designed to simply get your attention. 4. Educate your child as to your expectations. Generally speaking, parents do not spend enough time talking to their children and values, rules and why they are important. 5. Prevent problems as they occur. 6. When a clearly stated rule or limit is broken, intentionally or otherwise, follow up immediately with an appropriate punishment. Be consistent and do exactly what you said you would do. 7. When punishment is necessary, make sure that it is commensurate with the rule infraction or misbehavior (let the punishment fit the crime). 8. Be comfortable with a range of discipline techniques. The most frequently recommended ones include: reprimands, natural consequences, time-out, taking away a privilege, overcorrection and a behavioral point system."
Excerpted from: How to Raise a Child with a High EQ: A Parent’s Guide to Emotional Intelligence, 1997

Expert: Robin Stern

Author of: Understanding Emotions in the Classroom

In thinking about discipline for your children, spend a few minutes reflecting on what the limits, expectations and routines were in your family of origin. How did your parents deal with discipline? Think about what you were comfortable with as a child. Think about strategies you are currently using – what works and what doesn’t. There are several good ways to be effective and you need to learn what your preferred strategies are. All effective strategies will include clarity, consistency and follow through, and all strategies will be flexible for exceptions. Use teachable moments in your everyday interactions and also television shows to talk to your kids about discipline.

Expert: Dr. Laurence Balter

Author of: Who's in Control: Dr. Balters Guide to Discipline without Combat

“ Starting at the age of 2, your child will begin testing authority, and one way she does this is by talking back to adults. Declaring "Don’t want to!" or "No!" is a child’s way of saying she’s tired of taking orders and that she wants more independence. This is a tricky issue because you don’t want to squelch your child’s first steps toward autonomy, nor do you want to sanction rudeness. In a serious tone say, "I don’t want you to talk that way to me. If you disagree with me that’s okay, but you’ll have to do it in a polite way." Give her some examples of acceptable forms of protest, such as "I have another idea" or "I disagree." Make it clear that she’ll lose a privilege the next time she talks to you rudely, and as with all disciplinary tactics, be consistent in your enforcement. Don’t allow rudeness to go unchecked on one day and then react vigorously the next.”
Excerpted from: “Smart Solutions to Tough Discipline Problems” Parenting magazine, August 1998

For more information on smart discipline for every age go to: http://www.parents.com/articles/ages_and_stages/3277.jsp